“US and WE” instead of “ME and I”
I am a very independent person. Always have been. He knew that when he met me, its one of the reasons he married me. I too often forget when I am saying things that there are two of us now, meaning both of our feelings are involved. What used to be “I work all day” is now “We both work all day”, whether I am at an office, or he is going from session to session (he is a personal trainer) I have to understand that even though I am at a computer all day at work which turns into me being mentally tired, he is constantly on the go working with people to better their health, making him physically tired. Translation: WE both are equally tired when we get home. It is not a competition.
“MINE” vs. “OURS”
Again, being independent, my money was mine. Being married, we combine the incomes. We tend to have rule of thumb, he makes sure we have rent and I make sure all our bills are paid on time, we have laundry done (we live in an apartment so we have to pay for laundry), and there are groceries in the kitchen. Any other things I need, he is the one that always says here you go with out any questions asked. Me on the other hand, I am learning to swallow the word “MINE” when it comes to money being spent. You have to learn that because it’s not fair to use the word “MINE” when your husband always makes sure you have everything you need. Anything extra is a plus!
When we moved in together, we both had a dog. The dogs are now “OURS”. So we both do our best to equally share the responsibilities with them. They are only “MINE” or “HIS” when they are bad 😉
Having different schedules can make it hard to have quality time. I work a 9-6 job and he works sporadic hours through out the day. I am not a morning person at all. Living so close to work, I was getting up at the last minute (he leaves an hour before I do) taking the dogs out real quick and jamming to work. It became an issue because there was quality time being missed and it wasn’t fair to him or OUR dogs. Now I get up when he does, we spend about 30-45 minutes together, he goes to work, I take the dogs out for a nice long walk in the morning, and I still have time to not feel rushed when getting home from work. It makes a great start to the day.
When to wear your pj’s
As soon as I would come home from work, off with the business casual & make up, on with the sweatpants, oversize t-shirt and hair up in a messy bun. Sometimes I took the all natural look a little to far. He finally expressed to me that it would be nice every once in while for me to not jump into my pj’s so quickly so that he can see and enjoy what everyone else gets to see all day.
Be his cheerleader
After talking with my mom the other night, she taught me a valuable lesson. She said, “You have to be his perky cheerleader no matter what”. Then I thought about it and realized I have not been doing that as much as I should have. Marriage is about the both of you. You will have up’s and down’s but you will have each other to get through it. That’s all that matters. When you took those vows it included “Til Death Do Us Part”. Treasure the marriage you have. You were able to find that 1 person in the entire world that wants to share their life with you.